If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i've created a new STD.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
