Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
