I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
