IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
