it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
