well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
