No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
