the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
