I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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