google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
