they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You made out with two different species that night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
