i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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