Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
