I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
