Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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