great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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