just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
