That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
