Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
