so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize
