i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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