he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize