my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize