i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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