There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
