I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
