on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
