'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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