hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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