Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
do herpes really smell.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
