lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
