I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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