It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
