What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
