just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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