wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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