Plan B is the new Plan A
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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