my shit smells like andre
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
