I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
