Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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