Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
