Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
