Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
