wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
