im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
