no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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