Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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