Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
