Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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