maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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