I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
