What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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