dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
we're so committed to being not committed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
