Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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