the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
third nipple confirmed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize