Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
