go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
