yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
where are my eyebrows?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
