That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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