I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
