Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
