"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
