I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
