so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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