love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
