some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
