you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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